Massive rape by friendly corporations. Hilarity ensues.

Granted, I was woken up way too early to be even slightly coherent, but thanks to a cup of coffee and a cigarette, I am ready to bring to your attention some discrepancies (I'm being extremely polite here) which I have noticed in regard to the whole Obama vs. Insurance Companies + Public Option clusterfuck. It only took a few minutes to canvass currently available articles, and even though most agree that shit is fucked up, some offer a different (read: biased) view of how this whole operation will melt your fucking brain. Oh, and don't get me started on pre-election promises of certain government figures. Let's start with this

A firestorm between the Obama administration and health insurers escalated Thursday, as the Department of Health and Human Services pointed to double-digit price increases or attempted increases in six states to make the case for overhauling the health-care system

Alright, all nice and dandy, especially the firestorm part, that's really fucking poetic, makes my heart melt, that's how firestormy it feels here. Oh, and let's not forget how angry I feel about the paragraph that follows:

Over the past week, Democrats and Wellpoint Inc., the country's largest insurer by members, have sparred over a 39% premium increase for individual plans by Wellpoint's Anthem Blue Cross unit in the individual market in California. At a news conference Thursday, Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius cited more "extreme premium increases," including requests that insurers made to state regulators to raise rates by 56% in Michigan, 24% in Connecticut, 23% in Maine and 20% in Oregon.

WHAT? Did I read this right, or... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING YOU GODDAMNED HIGHWAY ROBBERS? Would you like my firstborn, as well? OK, taking a deep breath here, I have to save my energy for angry Tourette kind outbursts for later, when the mail man comes with my COBRA bill (why fuck Michigan so bad? What did Michigan do?). Moving on. So, hopefully the latter quote sunk in by now, and I suppose you're ready for the reasoning of those rich fucks as to why 75% of your paycheck will end up in their pocket, and why you will be selling your kidneys in Chinese black market very, very soon...

"The increases in Maine and Connecticut are being driven by the same factors as in California: Underlying medical costs are increasing, and there's the same kind of deterioration in the risk pool," said Brad Fluegel, WellPoint's chief of strategy. As people lose their jobs, he said, younger, healthier individuals are more likely to go without insurance in a difficult economy, skewing the mix of policy holders toward the elderly. After initial rejections from local insurance regulators, Mr. Fluegel said WellPoint wound up with a 17.5% increase in Connecticut and a 10.5% increase in Maine...WellPoint and other insurers say they are raising prices to keep up with rising medical costs and sicker customer pools.

Interesting logic. Rather lack thereof, but who am I to judge this poor, poor man who's struggling his way up this shitcreek of economy in a 7.5 million dollar yacht? Well, if we take a closer look at last years' profits of five most traded health insurance companies, their combined effort was rewarded with a tiny profit in the neighboorhood of some 12 fucking billion dollars. If that doesn't make you pissed off, my dear Michigan, then you must be dead. We shall mourn you, and we shall miss you. Well, maybe we won't miss Detroit, but I think that you, Michigan, are a notch above New Jersey, which is a lot, coming from me.

Enough about that. Let's see what this is all about:

President Obama will put forward comprehensive health care legislation intended to bridge differences between Senate and House Democrats ahead of a summit meeting with Republicans next week, senior administration officials and Congressional aides said Thursday. Democratic officials said the president’s proposal was being written so that it could be attached to a budget bill as a way of averting a Republican filibuster in the Senate. The procedure, known as budget reconciliation, would let Democrats advance the bill with a simple majority rather than a 60-vote supermajority.

OK, so far so good, a bit too vague for my taste, but so is our fucking future. An interesting fact is that Congressional Democrats have neither seen or signed the legislation. Do you smell that gasoline burning? No? I must be getting a stroke then, because I feel like I am about to drink a GHB laced beer in the bar where White House and Wellpoint often chill together, waiting for unsuspecting voters to pass out, who then later wake up feeling a bit... handled. That's probably how they spell "rape" on the Capitol Hill. It's so sad, it's funny. Now, according to New York Times (see above tag):

The president’s plan would require most Americans to obtain health insurance or face financial penalties; it would bar insurers from denying coverage based on pre-existing medical conditions, and it would give tax subsidies to help moderate-income people buy private insurance.

Latter part gets me excited with hope and brings a tear to me eye...but...ahh, do you mind reading the first sentence again, and again, and again, until you memorize it enough to find the same statement in here. Now call me dumb (I know who you are, so stop it) but I read and re - read that one sucky page of Obama's proposal, and NOWHERE does he propose to impose – that rhymes – anything resembling financial penalties for choosing to opt out. Just give me a fucking barrel, I'll bend over it, let's be done. Bad enough Massachusetts gives it to you "Deliverance" style for being uninsured, so why don't we model the whole country after that state? Imagine making federal minimum working full time with a couple of kids in tow? Having to dole out most of your meager paycheck for a health plan that will most likely suck ass? Oh man those kids will grow up having a phobia of Ramen Noodles, because that's the only fucking thing their poor mother will be able to afford until they get their lazy asses out in to the real world, and maybe even get a job. Oh, yeah, if those are still around. Kids, save your money for a trip to India or China, I heard they're hiring...